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      12-01-2020, 03:56 PM   #199
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Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
Urrrrrrrgh we lived with her sister for 2 months through a reno and man, they dead set nearly killed each other. They are both super uptight, just brutal. Bro in law and I just stood back and ate popcorn watching it unfold.
Sort of the same situation, She doesnt agree with her parents at all, for good reason, but shes just always at with them and being that she works from home full time she has no escape. Im hoping she can hold it together for 14 more days haha.

I knew it was going to be hard but damn I never knew it would be this hard. Its amazing to witness grown "senior" adults act like children. I will appreciate my own home like never before.
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      12-01-2020, 04:22 PM   #200
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Ha! I have a deserved reputation for being short fused but I couldn't understand why they were bickering, it was sooooo sillly. To be fair tot he missus most of it was her sister just being an ass about stupid things like where the cutlery was put away. We're talking 4500 sq ft of living space for 2 families so we had a TON of space.
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      12-01-2020, 05:46 PM   #201
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My father died about 6 weeks ago. He was married to my mother for 71 years.

They went through some stuff. Not that I can relate entirely but it isn't hard to imagine the Great Depression, WWII, two kids, two cancers, and too many heart stents to mention, perhaps being a wee tad more to bear than being stuck in the same house with the person you married for a few months.

My wife and I are doing okay. We're both on our second marriage, and so we have a preloaded ability to shrug stuff off. There have been moments. But I feel we're closer.
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      12-01-2020, 07:51 PM   #202
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sound advice from my my best friends wedding
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Originally Posted by GrussGott View Post
Sounds pizzagatey.
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      12-02-2020, 09:20 AM   #203
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This thread actually gave me a lot of comfort. While not in a marriage or anywhere as long term as some of the relationships as some, I got out of a 2 year relationship where it seemed like it was going somewhere. We moved in together probably too early, but COVID really hurt the relationship as she is a flight attendant. A lot of the same issues people listed, we went through as well.

At the end of the day though, 2020 has easily been one of the most informative years for me. I've always been bad at it, but I'm learning how to set boundaries, which is key to relationships. It's not enough to just hope things get better, and also you can't be the only one willing to work at it.

Bring on 2021.
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      12-03-2020, 04:04 AM   #204
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Interesting article:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-55146909

I now know three couples who have divorced because of "rona." One friend said she loved her husband but didn't want to spend 24 hours with him sharing the same room.

Is it right to blame COVID-19? When it's a difference in personalities? Or clash of?

What I took from it was that it's the lack of "quality time" in some cases. When you're both at work... doing your own thing... you make what you can of the precious time as you haven't seen one another. Date night. Out on a boat... family horse back riding days... especially with a family you try find the moments to enjoy as a couple without the kids around.

There is too much time by the sound of it and not enough quality time. How does one go about 24 quality hours when it's those few hours or half days of quality? That's the challenge I think. It's not always possible to have a quality week.

Is it the pandemics fault? Some would say so. I think there is more to it. A pandemic may have exposed the cracks and times are testing anyway. No one really marries so they can spend 24 hours indoors all week with someone. Unless someone has that on their check list I don't know. May be the dating sights should have a box for cloying habits or peccadilloes one might have in lockdown situations.
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      12-03-2020, 07:00 AM   #205
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the pandemic can certainly strain the finances depending on what industries the husband or wife are in - financial strain coupled with no quality time together is a recipe for problems. the key is being able to pivot, in a sense, and adapt to a new normal for an extended period of time, thus delaying gratification. some people i do believe are better suited for adapting to Rona environment - others not so much...
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Sounds pizzagatey.

Last edited by floridaorange; 12-06-2020 at 09:29 AM..
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      12-03-2020, 08:11 AM   #206
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Finances are a tough one. Not everyone is able to suss out how much debt their partner has when they get married. People mostly discuss bills and stuff when they live together. My wife had student loans, credit maxed out... We spent a good ten years of our marriage repairing her credit and paying things off. When she landed a job paying more than $150,000 a year it felt like we were going backwards as she wanted to buy things. That's been one of the ongoing challenges. Then when cancer developed her medical bills were killing me. I was working 4 jobs on a 7 day week to bring in more than $300,000 a year. We come from different families. Her old man lived for the day and used credit like no tomorrow. He's in his 80's with more than $60,000 in debts and still being chased by creditors. Mine on the opposite saved hard and worked hard. I didn't even know what debt or credit were until I got married. Thankfully there is an end in sight and she's making a good recovery. We had to temporarily move to the UK and give up our home in AZ so we could get the treatment she needed. Her debts became "our" debts. My dad always kept his accounts separate from my mom. My wife thinks I may as well not be with her if we don't have a joint account. Shit made me ill. I was out of work. Too stressed to work. Couldn't function. Couldn't even buy a loaf of bread. Thankfully one of her uncle knows a great financial expert. He educated my wife and she has been saving since. Often surprising me by paying $2000 into my checking account. It was a long hard road though and it nearly broke us. I didn't trust her with money but now I know if she uses it then it will be replaced with surplus.
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      12-03-2020, 08:25 AM   #207
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TBH I just think people want too much, and i'll cop it for this, but especially women. Men tend to accept the groove and routine of life, we tend to have more hobbies, women want excitement more often.

Finances are really tricky, my missus makes double what I do (we have always pooled all our money) but her spending far, far exceeds mine. It can be a prickly topic as she bristles when I try and reel her in but given our income we should be in a better place than we are.
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      12-06-2020, 08:25 AM   #208
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My wife and I have been trying to quit smoking.
We agree to smoke only after sex...

I have a cigarette once a month;

She’s up to a pack a day...


RD...❤️
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      12-06-2020, 09:34 AM   #209
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul_Glo View Post
Finances are a tough one. Not everyone is able to suss out how much debt their partner has when they get married. People mostly discuss bills and stuff when they live together. My wife had student loans, credit maxed out... We spent a good ten years of our marriage repairing her credit and paying things off. When she landed a job paying more than $150,000 a year it felt like we were going backwards as she wanted to buy things. That's been one of the ongoing challenges. Then when cancer developed her medical bills were killing me. I was working 4 jobs on a 7 day week to bring in more than $300,000 a year. We come from different families. Her old man lived for the day and used credit like no tomorrow. He's in his 80's with more than $60,000 in debts and still being chased by creditors. Mine on the opposite saved hard and worked hard. I didn't even know what debt or credit were until I got married. Thankfully there is an end in sight and she's making a good recovery. We had to temporarily move to the UK and give up our home in AZ so we could get the treatment she needed. Her debts became "our" debts. My dad always kept his accounts separate from my mom. My wife thinks I may as well not be with her if we don't have a joint account. Shit made me ill. I was out of work. Too stressed to work. Couldn't function. Couldn't even buy a loaf of bread. Thankfully one of her uncle knows a great financial expert. He educated my wife and she has been saving since. Often surprising me by paying $2000 into my checking account. It was a long hard road though and it nearly broke us. I didn't trust her with money but now I know if she uses it then it will be replaced with surplus.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GrussGott View Post
Sounds pizzagatey.
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