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      10-16-2021, 05:03 PM   #1
JTM09
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online match maker - who has used one?

Anyone ever use It's Just Lunch or other online match makers?

Curious to your thoughts on the process. IJL wants $4900 up front for 1 year with basically no guarantees or refunds.
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      10-16-2021, 05:31 PM   #2
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Sounds like it's worth it
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      10-16-2021, 10:32 PM   #3
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Go meet a nice girl at church. Save the dough.
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      10-17-2021, 08:34 AM   #4
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I've seen the commercials on TV, I had no idea that it costs five grand. That's batshit insane.
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      10-17-2021, 08:55 AM   #5
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I guess people just don't go bumping into each other and falling in love anymore.
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      10-17-2021, 09:54 AM   #6
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When I met my now wife, I was an executive. Lots of attractive potentials at work, but I didn’t dare date any of them because of (1) risk of harassment claim even if unfounded, and (2) if the relationship got serious one of us would have to quit the company, and that would have been her (lower income than mine), so we would have to get very serious very fast. Just too much risk.

Newish to the area so didn’t know a lot of people locally. Didn’t think I’d meet someone lasting at a bar, and not really a bar hopper myself. Some friends set me up with dates, pfft. Eventually got on eHarmony, which was free or inexpensive (I don’t recall, it’s been 11 years). Met my wife there.

My sister used Match after her divorce and met her husband there.

Not for everyone, but I had a good experience. I can see using something like the OP mentioned if only to weed out the non-serious, but that price also might weed out some wonderful people who won’t or can’t pay that price.
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      10-17-2021, 12:24 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2000cs View Post
When I met my now wife, I was an executive. Lots of attractive potentials at work, but I didn’t dare date any of them because of (1) risk of harassment claim even if unfounded, and (2) if the relationship got serious one of us would have to quit the company, and that would have been her (lower income than mine), so we would have to get very serious very fast. Just too much risk.

Newish to the area so didn’t know a lot of people locally. Didn’t think I’d meet someone lasting at a bar, and not really a bar hopper myself. Some friends set me up with dates, pfft. Eventually got on eHarmony, which was free or inexpensive (I don’t recall, it’s been 11 years). Met my wife there.

My sister used Match after her divorce and met her husband there.

Not for everyone, but I had a good experience. I can see using something like the OP mentioned if only to weed out the non-serious, but that price also might weed out some wonderful people who won’t or can’t pay that price.
thanks, sounds like you understand my situation. I am an established professional, not looking to play games and or put up with the nonsense of online dating.

Maybe I'll give match a try. I was on eharm for a little and it was a total waste of time.

I'd gladly pay a professional to assist ..thus the topic of this thread
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      10-17-2021, 02:49 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by JTM09 View Post
thanks, sounds like you understand my situation. I am an established professional, not looking to play games and or put up with the nonsense of online dating.

Maybe I'll give match a try. I was on eharm for a little and it was a total waste of time.

I'd gladly pay a professional to assist ..thus the topic of this thread
On EH I found two things useful. 1. Be completely honest. No drama later (on your side) if you’re accurate online. Hopefully your dates also are honest in their profiles, etc. 2. I used a very large geography because I traveled a lot, lived in a smallish town, and wasn’t committed to living there forever. My wife was from about 40 miles away, and I matched with some much farther before I met her. Just have to be realistic about meeting/dating with a large radius.
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      10-17-2021, 05:47 PM   #9
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No, and wouldn't consider it. I believe if you don't have time to meet people doing the things you love (hiking, biking, sports, hobbies, volunteering, favorite events....), and you need/want someone to suggest to you someone else that doesn't have time to date/find a person -- then neither of you have time for a relationship.
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      10-17-2021, 07:55 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DenverSteve View Post
No, and wouldn't consider it. I believe if you don't have time to meet people doing the things you love (hiking, biking, sports, hobbies, volunteering, favorite events....), and you need/want someone to suggest to you someone else that doesn't have time to date/find a person -- then neither of you have time for a relationship.
+1 tend to agree w that. I don't wanna say something harsh like 'scam', but that's a pretty insane entry pt...and do they even have proof that there is a very big pool and it's full of quality potential catches and good fe/male split...or will it turn out to be another Ashley Madison deal, i.e. sausagefest and fake females? LOL.

Try something irl or free stuff like meetup.com.
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      10-17-2021, 10:11 PM   #11
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I have not tried these. Thought about it and decided no. No guaranteed results. Was trying to get into The League but that was like pulling teeth. You never get in unless you pay. Tried free dating apps and it’s been okay. I prefer meeting people in person as it takes away the awkwardness of first dates with people online. Deleted all the apps a while ago and never looked back. If I’m destined to be alone then so be it. I am content being single so no rush.
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      10-17-2021, 11:35 PM   #12
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Save your 5 Grand and I will go to Thailand with you next year and find you a girl. Yes, I will make sure she is not a ladyboy. I've met zero girls on dating sites. I'm not social and go out a lot and haven't met a random girl on the streets. I've met a lot of girls while traveling in Asia partly because I'm Asian and fit in with their culture.
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      10-18-2021, 08:42 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2000cs View Post
When I met my now wife, I was an executive. Lots of attractive potentials at work, but I didn’t dare date any of them because of (1) risk of harassment claim even if unfounded, and (2) if the relationship got serious one of us would have to quit the company, and that would have been her (lower income than mine), so we would have to get very serious very fast. Just too much risk.

Newish to the area so didn’t know a lot of people locally. Didn’t think I’d meet someone lasting at a bar, and not really a bar hopper myself. Some friends set me up with dates, pfft. Eventually got on eHarmony, which was free or inexpensive (I don’t recall, it’s been 11 years). Met my wife there.

My sister used Match after her divorce and met her husband there.

Not for everyone, but I had a good experience. I can see using something like the OP mentioned if only to weed out the non-serious, but that price also might weed out some wonderful people who won’t or can’t pay that price.
There is a third consequence with dating someone at work. Both of you get let go. This happened at a former employer. The guy was some upper exec. The girl was a subordinate....which coincidentally got promoted to a higher position. It also didn't help that both are (maybe were now) married so their relationship was extra-marital.

For the OP, those that are poo pooing online dating, they're just closed minded. It is what you make of it. I've been doing both eHarmony and Match for almost a year now. My experience has been generally positive. I opted for the online option because it does help me weed out women that I know won't work out for me quickly with their profiles. For you to do the same in real life would take more work and potentially more money. People don't walk around with all their high points projecting from their bodies. Many women, I've met up with have said that it's refreshing to actually have a guy that resembles their online profile. So the honesty that 2000cs stated in building your profile is 100% true.

I've had more success with Match and it's cheaper than eHarmony. Match has different tiers and you can sign up for smaller chunks of time versus eHarmony is now 1 year only. Although the latest lady I've connected with on eHarmony seems to be a winner. There is a new alternative. Facebook has gotten into dating. It's only available through their app. But it's free. So far, I'm reserving judgement. Have met up with a couple of women already in my short time using it and will be meeting up with another this week.

And the statement about if you need to use these apps because of not having the time to meet people doing things you love, is total BS. I would rather not waste my time dicking around as it's a given if you're on a dating site that you're looking to get into something more than a friendship. I was doing what you state with my dancing hobby where there are tons of women I get exposed to. Many of them are total train wrecks and I had enough when I kept running into women that were out messing around while hubby was at home.

The way I see these services is a way to expose you to women that you would otherwise have never met. I know quite a few women I've dated/gone on dates with I would have never met just going about my daily life.
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      10-18-2021, 09:25 AM   #14
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      10-18-2021, 09:57 AM   #15
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Man I need to come up with a scheme like this! Seems there's so many people with more $$ than sense.

I met my gf on match. Not sure how the site is these days, that was 16 years ago. I'm soooooo old.
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      10-18-2021, 11:55 AM   #16
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I have a good friend that looked into this and later told me the the prices... it straight up seemed like a scam.

The apps ie bumble are a waste of time too... no one there is serious and the ones that are, are not ones you will want to be with... but again? you may be lucky.

Weird times we live in... genuinely dont know how people meet anymore these days outside of friends.
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      10-19-2021, 12:39 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsGoGoMoto View Post
I guess people just don't go bumping into each other and falling in love anymore.
Oh no, we still do that! Kidding aside, seriously; if a man approaches a woman without using a dating app or social media these days...be prepared to be considered creepy.

As for online match makers, I've had really good luck with Car Gurus.
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      10-19-2021, 12:46 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by JTM09 View Post
Anyone ever use It's Just Lunch or other online match makers?

Curious to your thoughts on the process. IJL wants $4900 up front for 1 year with basically no guarantees or refunds.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2000cs View Post
When I met my now wife, I was an executive. Lots of attractive potentials at work, but I didn’t dare date any of them because of (1) risk of harassment claim even if unfounded, and (2) if the relationship got serious one of us would have to quit the company, and that would have been her (lower income than mine), so we would have to get very serious very fast. Just too much risk.

Newish to the area so didn’t know a lot of people locally. Didn’t think I’d meet someone lasting at a bar, and not really a bar hopper myself. Some friends set me up with dates, pfft. Eventually got on eHarmony, which was free or inexpensive (I don’t recall, it’s been 11 years). Met my wife there.

My sister used Match after her divorce and met her husband there.

Not for everyone, but I had a good experience. I can see using something like the OP mentioned if only to weed out the non-serious, but that price also might weed out some wonderful people who won’t or can’t pay that price.
This. It's not for everyone and I don't know what it is like these days, but I met my wife on Match.com and we've been married almost 10 years now.
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      10-19-2021, 01:03 PM   #19
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Yep, I met my wife on a Christian dating site (which has now turned to crap I understand), and 12 years ago, she agreed to the "life with no chance of parole" sentence.

She might be regretting it, but she agreed to it, so here we are. Till I die. Cause I figure its going to be me that goes first. Who knows though, maybe in spite of my questionable choices in life, I'll outlive her after all.

I could be like one of those old people sharing secrets of old age, like having one beer per day or some crap like that...but I promise I'll come up with some inventive crap to say if I'm ever interviewed.
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      10-19-2021, 03:32 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chihuahua View Post
I've seen the commercials on TV, I had no idea that it costs five grand. That's batshit insane.
Ever checked into "Events and Adventures"? Great concept, but like 4x that cost. Horrendous reviews too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JTM09 View Post
thanks, sounds like you understand my situation. I am an established professional, not looking to play games and or put up with the nonsense of online dating.

Maybe I'll give match a try. I was on eharm for a little and it was a total waste of time.

I'd gladly pay a professional to assist ..thus the topic of this thread
Shit, just fund my dates and I'll take out whoever you're interested in. 7 of my ex's married the dude they started dating right after me, I'm like Good Luck Chuck. That's probably a better guarantee than any "professional" in this industry.
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      10-19-2021, 04:16 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by NorCalAthlete View Post
Ever checked into "Events and Adventures"? Great concept, but like 4x that cost. Horrendous reviews too.



Shit, just fund my dates and I'll take out whoever you're interested in. 7 of my ex's married the dude they started dating right after me, I'm like Good Luck Chuck. That's probably a better guarantee than any "professional" in this industry.
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      10-20-2021, 12:22 PM   #22
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Old fashion ways to meet new people: join book club, wine club, astronomy club, etc; take a course at community college.
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