09-25-2020, 10:16 PM | #1255 |
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09-25-2020, 10:57 PM | #1256 |
I'll get back to you
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That's old
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10-20-2020, 08:47 AM | #1258 |
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...when all of your conversations center around medical issues...and you're *not* a doctor!
I went to a routine cardiologist appointment last week, and there was another doctor from the practice covering for my usual doctors. The regular doctor left a note in my file suggesting that I be put on one of those "TV" side-effects, er, I mean heart medicines. When I brought up the main side effect (low blood pressure) and that I am already in a fragile balance and frequently running low, he prescribed the lowest available dose and told me to cut them in half. Long story short, I have had a few incidents of severe dizziness and disorientation shortly after standing up since adding these pills to my regimen. Last night, I was walking towards the kitchen sink with my dirty dinner plate when it hit. I dropped the plate on the floor, grabbed the counter, and somehow managed to wall-surf to the bedroom and flop onto the bed. From 10-15 minutes later: Needless to say, that bottle goes into my "DNR" (do not refill) bin! Funny related story. My employer had a nurse from a regional hospital come in last year, to do voluntary on-site medical screenings including "instant" cholesterol tests. Several of my colleagues were shocked to discover that they had high blood pressure. From visual inspection, everyone assumes that I would have the highest blood pressure of the group. Needless to say, a crowd gathered when I was being tested, because I told several people that I was going to set the BP record today...for the *lowest* BP in the entire organization. The nurse made me sign the usual medical paperwork waivers, and I made her swear in front of the crowd that she would not call an ambulance after taking my BP. The results were not a surprise...at least to me..... .
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10-20-2020, 11:08 AM | #1259 |
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10-20-2020, 12:35 PM | #1260 |
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Something like that!
That's not my record, though. I had a *manual* reading in the hospital of 38 over "OMG it's zero" before being whisked to CCU for a week. I was sooooooo loopy that I was barking out test orders (*) as if I were a doctor that day, and at one point there were 9 different IV bags (yes, three 4-hook IV stands) hanging over my bed in CCU the first night. (*) The night before my trip to CCU, the other patient in my room had a similar unexplained BP drop. They were working on him all night, and I heard the whole thing which is why I was barking out test orders when I know zilch about doctor stuff. They finally freed a bed for him in CCU about 6:30 AM, and sadly he did not make it more than a few hours after the move. In all seriousness, he blew his heart out from many years of hookers and blow.....
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10-21-2020, 09:28 PM | #1263 |
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10-21-2020, 10:35 PM | #1264 |
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When your wife asks you in the morning if you're ok because you got up so many times during the night and you don't remember getting up even once.
I hate auto-pilot mode. But it seems I slip into that more and more these days.
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10-22-2020, 01:05 AM | #1266 |
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Three old men in a retirement home were talking one morning. One of them said "you know, I'd give anything to be able to take a good long piss in the morning". The other two nodded, then the second one said "I'd give anything to be able to take a good long shit in the morning". The first one nodded, and the third one just smiled.
He said "hell guys - every morning at 7:30 I take a good long piss. And every morning at 8:30 I take a good long shit. If only I could get out of bed before 9". |
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10-22-2020, 06:57 AM | #1267 |
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Get off my lawn, spambot!!!!!
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10-22-2020, 11:27 AM | #1269 |
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.
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10-23-2020, 06:33 AM | #1271 |
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How many times do we have to say it...GET OFF OUR LAWNS, KID!
I've got t-shirts older than you, and not one other person in this thread counts being kicked off of their parents' cell phone plans as being old. Heck, I doubt any of us were even on our parents' cell phone plans...because cell phone plans didn't even exist! I still get a chuckle out of the click-bait news article that pops up every few months about the most popular video game the year that you were born. When I was a kid, TV's were black & white...and we kids were the remote control! Get off my lawn, kid!!!!!
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10-23-2020, 11:11 AM | #1272 | |
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10-23-2020, 01:22 PM | #1273 | ||
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I just pulled all the weeds, get off my lawn
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10-23-2020, 01:56 PM | #1274 | |
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I'll get off your lawn if you'll share your weeds.....old timer. |
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10-23-2020, 02:06 PM | #1275 |
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I recently made koolaid for my kids and i don't recall the package being that damn hard to read the instructions.
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10-23-2020, 04:11 PM | #1276 | |
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Wait, you can't REMEMBER how to make Koolaid???? Memory is the second thing to go Last edited by UncleWede; 10-23-2020 at 04:26 PM.. |
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