[nexus66]

Bella, don't worry about your car being fixed. If there is any alignment problems (which by the sounds of it there is) these will show up/be fixed when the service guy performs what they call a KDS check. This is more than the simple alignment check performed by most garages, and actually takes a couple of hours to do.

But rest assured, your baby will track perfectly afterwards!

E90Fleet can probably describe the process in detail!

[Broken1]

Originally Posted by Tierfreund

Let me get this straight: He´s a boy, you´re a girl, and he´s not paying up for his accident damage on your car?

Simple: No makin whoopiie till he pays (and brings you some flowers for your trouble).

Don´t worry, it´ll be less than a week...

Witholding sex is a bad card to play.
This is a tough situation, exactly why I won't let anyone else drive my car! I think splitting 50:50 is a fair deal, it's your car and you risked letting him drive.

Anyways, bf problems aside...
I had an E46, I was driving fairly fast, slammed my foot on the brake (shifts ALL the weight onto the front) and swerved into a curb. (To avoid an obstacle). I had no body damage, but I broke the wishbone on my car (and a few other thing, suspension/spring wise)

Well, the car got fixed at huge expense (to my insurace company) but when I got it back, it drove perfectly!!!

I would definately follow the advice above, and tell them what happened and get it fixed. It could just be allignment, but they might have to change something else like the suspension bushes or somethin! It will most likely come out as good as new!!! Don't worry about it...

Just don't let that man drive your car again. No matter what anyone says, no one will treat your car with the same respect you do!

[chrisbin]

Whoah! Bit of a minefield this one!!!

Who Pays? Well I reckon if I was driving my other half's car, which she had just bought and was her pride and joy, and damaged it, then I would definitely feel obligated to pay up!

Next, I'm surprised given the supposedly litigious nature of the US that so few people have suggested pursuing the local authority for damages incurred....??? I'd certainly be doing that if it happened here in the UK (and indeed have done so in the past). If the "bumps" are bad enough to throw the alignment out, they have to be an accident waiting to happen..???

Finally, I fully understand your feeling about the car being "damaged" and no longer as good as new. But, we are talking about something that should be fixed quite easily (assuming reasonably efficient mechanics), and no damage has been done to the paintwork/bodywork. So no reason why it shouldn't soon be as good as new again.

Good Luck!

[ward]

the man should only have to pay up if you feel he was doing something "stupid" when he hit the bump, like he didn't slow down or something.
It may have just as easily happened when you were driving. If you were drving instead of him would you still expect him to pay some of the costs?

If you weren't comfortable with his driving and what might happen you shouldn't have let him drive at all.

Of course lots of this depends on the relationship, if you're almost married then finances don't matter, but if it's still pretty casual I think it's pretty weak to ask him for money for this.

people on message boards often go WAY out of their way to kiss girls butts, as if somehow they're going to woo a girl to drive cross country to hook up.

let's keep it more honest than that folks

[Tierfreund]

Originally Posted by ward

the man should only have to pay up if you feel he was doing something "stupid" when he hit the bump, like he didn't slow down or something.
It may have just as easily happened when you were driving. If you were drving instead of him would you still expect him to pay some of the costs?

If you weren't comfortable with his driving and what might happen you shouldn't have let him drive at all.

Of course lots of this depends on the relationship, if you're almost married then finances don't matter, but if it's still pretty casual I think it's pretty weak to ask him for money for this.

people on message boards often go WAY out of their way to kiss girls butts, as if somehow they're going to woo a girl to drive cross country to hook up.

let's keep it more honest than that folks

No kissin up here (lets get real, there´s an atlantic ocean between me and the bird) .

But if I use somebody elses property / tool / car - whatever I feel responsible for it. If something goes wrong with it, I stand up for the damage. If I don´t want that kind of responsibility, I don´t borrow it / drive it / use it.

If it obviosly is through no fault of my own, I´d probably still offer to pay for the damage (i.e. unprovoked engine failure) but wouldn´t object to a dismissal from the ower. But with hitting an obstacle / bump while driving, that is within the margin of driver avoidance. So I´d insist on covering the damage. If there´s insurance, I´d cover a raise in the premium.

That´s just what I´d call ethical behaviour, wether between strangers, loose acquitances, friends or partners.

And I do feel free to judge others by that standard. If somebody feels unoblidged to live up to his responsibility, my respect for him takes a hit and I´ll state so.

[chrisbin]

Originally Posted by ward

If you were drving instead of him would you still expect him to pay some of the costs?

......

people on message boards often go WAY out of their way to kiss girls butts, as if somehow they're going to woo a girl to drive cross country to hook up.

let's keep it more honest than that folks

If Bella had been driving, then of course she wouldn't expect any contribution, cos she would have damaged her own car.........

So no comparison......

There's always been an unwritten rule between my friends and I that if you break someone else's "toy" while "playing" in/on it, then you expect to pay.......

p.s. I'm married, with 2 kids, living in the UK........so I really don't think I have much of a chance with Bella.....

[chrisbin]

Hmmm......maybe its a European thing then, eh Tierfreund??

[ward]

if he was driving and the engine decided to unexpectedly let go, would you expect him to buy a new engine??? if it died under normal circumstances and warranty didn't cover?

don't be silly people

[EVO_S4]

Originally Posted by HRC

I would find a new boyfriend...like NOW. "...well if you were driving..." but you were not driving. He could play the what if games all night! BTW, it takes a special kind of guy to play these games with his GF. Maybe I'm old fashioned in my thoughts about how to treat your GF, but this could be a peak at the bad things that could come your way.


Danny

I have to agreed with you how to take care of your GF, It happen when he drove so he should take care of it.

[Tierfreund]

Originally Posted by ward

if he was driving and the engine decided to unexpectedly let go, would you expect him to buy a new engine??? if it died under normal circumstances and warranty didn't cover?

don't be silly people

As stated, if I was driving I´d at least offer a contribution. (depending on how much my driving could have contributed to the problem) if I were to lend my car to someone and the problem appeared when he was driving, I´d be consider it a sign of good character if he offered compensation but would turn it down if he obviously did nothing wrong

[Tierfreund]

Originally Posted by chrisbin

Hmmm......maybe its a European thing then, eh Tierfreund??

Rather not get into a trans-atlantic thing here

[Tierfreund]

OK, so I thought about what would be appropriate in this actual situation by asking myself what would I do:

The BF should have appologized (it is a new car after all and obviously means something to the girl) for messing it up and then should have personally taken care to get it fixed (bringing the car in himself to have it fixed, do all the paperwork and phoneing around), pay for the repair and make shure it´s as good as new when he brings it back. And borrow her his car for the time of the repair.

That´s no kissing up to someone unknown (who could look like Dame Edna for all I know ), but quite simply what I would do if I were to bend my GF´s car.

[chrisbin]

Originally Posted by ward

if he was driving and the engine decided to unexpectedly let go, would you expect him to buy a new engine??? if it died under normal circumstances and warranty didn't cover?

don't be silly people

NO!

You are making another invalid comparison......imho.

I believe we are talking about something that is a result of the driver's actions/inaction, that could have been avoided, as opposed to a mechanical breakdown that could not!

"unexpectedly let go".....
"unexpectedly hit a pothole that could have been avoided if I was concentrating......"



As the saying goes........................"whatever"

[chrisbin]

Originally Posted by Tierfreund

Rather not get into a trans-atlantic thing here

No, me neither.... Actually it was just that we seemed to post virtually the same points at the same time....

[Tierfreund]

Originally Posted by chrisbin

No, me neither.... Actually it was just that we seemed to post virtually the same points at the same time....

I guess that´s just the time-zone. Bored at work as well? Let´s call in some South-Africans as well. And wake up the aussies early...

[chrisbin]

Originally Posted by Tierfreund

I guess that´s just the time-zone. Bored at work as well? Let´s call in some South-Africans as well. And wake up the aussies early...

Nah.....don't think that would work.....they'll never agree with a "Pom".........

[BellasBmw]

Thanks for all the reply's guys... I appreciate the advice!

I spoke with my BF this morning about the whole situation. He admits that he was driving a little faster than usual, and that he could have been a little safer. BUT he says that it could have happened to me, and that we went on this trip knowing that everything was 50/50. I told him that in this situation, i dont feel i should be responsible. After 30 mins...He finally said that he does feel awful that my brand new car (which is my baby, that ive already put $$$ into), is screwed up cause of him, and he said he would pay for the damages.
But now its sort of too late.. He should have done this from the start. Just like the poster that said he should have taken the car in, made the phone calls..etc.. Just to show me that i wouldnt have to stress over it. Now it feels like im making him, and in that case.. no way i'd want his money.
So, we'll see how much the damage is, and depending on the price (if its $$$.. then i, myself would feel awful to make him pay for all of it). But i learned my lesson and i told him no more road trips in my car.. OR you're not driving haha...

[UncleWede]

I-15 was probably CalTrans, so you have a good chance on getting them to pay for damages, if you can get a picture. I'm asking a friend right now who bent both rims on his EXPENSIVE ($50K+) motorcycle.
Some of your challenge will be whether he was exceeding the road limits (he was passing all kinds of cars at a high speed?) and whether there are/were any warning signs of the rough road.

Hey you both won over $1K on the trip, that should cover any damages.

Although as stated above, most responsible people who were given the opportunity to play would pay for damamges. When I took dad's new Bayliner out and ground up the prop, I paid the $800 for a rebuilt one, and I was in college at the time.
And don't deprive yourself to punish him

[HRC]

Originally Posted by BellasBmw

Thanks for all the reply's guys... I appreciate the advice!

I spoke with my BF this morning about the whole situation. He admits that he was driving a little faster than usual, and that he could have been a little safer. BUT he says that it could have happened to me, and that we went on this trip knowing that everything was 50/50. I told him that in this situation, i dont feel i should be responsible. After 30 mins...He finally said that he does feel awful that my brand new car (which is my baby, that ive already put $$$ into), is screwed up cause of him, and he said he would pay for the damages.
But now its sort of too late.. He should have done this from the start. Just like the poster that said he should have taken the car in, made the phone calls..etc.. Just to show me that i wouldnt have to stress over it. Now it feels like im making him, and in that case.. no way i'd want his money.
So, we'll see how much the damage is, and depending on the price (if its $$$.. then i, myself would feel awful to make him pay for all of it). But i learned my lesson and i told him no more road trips in my car.. OR you're not driving haha...

Like you said, this wouldn't make me feel any better since it took your 30 minute convincing speech to get him to do the right thing...(cough!)! 50/50 for the trip is fine as it relates to dining/casino games, shows, etc...but to lump this incident into the 50/50 is just plain lacking class.

BTW, I'm very happily married, thus have no reason to "woo" you or any other lady here on anywhere else. This is just how I feel a real man should "man" up and do what's right. True I would expect the same from anyone driving your car, but the fact that he is your "BF' makes this 10 times worse to me.

Good luck with EVERYTHING!

Danny

[Stefan358]

so, i only registered to answer this thread.

in my opinion it should end with 50:50 why ?

firstly:
from the sight of her:

if i borrow someone my car and something happens that could happen to me also there is no one that i would blame. i assume he drives the car carefully. in all other cases i would never give him/her my car. so its my risk if i give my baby away and i would not expect anything from the other side

secondly:
view from the other side

even if i have the feeling i could not do anything about this i had a bad feeling to damage the new car of my friend/girlfriend. i would have the inner pressure to pay for what i have done.

so, in my opinion he should be a man and offer the 100% from the beginning and she should be the woman to pay 50%. because if i trust someone and he really did it not on purpose i cannot blame him/her. shit happens in live. be a man lady.


AND i do not think you should worry about the car. i can be fixed.
relationship advice ? not from my side

[noflash]

This is gay.

Please move this to the cry-me-river-OT section.

Now this website is tainted!!!

Sorry to be callous, but this belongs in a "relationship" website!

[BellasBmw]

Originally Posted by noflash

This is gay.

Please move this to the cry-me-river-OT section.

Now this website is tainted!!!

Sorry to be callous, but this belongs in a "relationship" website!

Its not about the relationship- its about the situation, and the best way to handle it. There's nothing wrong with asking for a little advice to have better judgement in handling a particular situation. The main reason i posted was due to the way my car was driving, and the outcome of accident. Im sorry but i shelled out a lot of money for this car, and i was upset that something had to happen so soon. Ok shit happens, i understand this.. but im sure there are others who have had their car's longer than mine, who could have potentially had the same thing happen..and i wanted to know from their experience if the end result was the same.
When the time comes along that you have the same thing happened or some other type of damage ..Im sure you'll be stressed and alittle annoyed (exactly how i feel) however, ill give you my best opinion and suggestion. Not a "callous" and inconsiderate remark.


-BTW, its at the dealer, its going to run about $160 if there is nothing bent or out of place.

-thanks to the others who gave me some helpful advice.