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Gary, I think a lot of us in the NW (SW for you) deal with some seasonal depression this time of year. Do you find your mood picks up in the summer?
Personally, my wife and I plan at least 2 trips in the winter to GTFO of Seattle and get some sun. This year is Vegas and then Palm Springs. It helps immensely just knowing that's on the horizon a few weeks out.
Not sure if you are in a place in your life where a dog makes sense but there' a reason they call them "Man's Best friend." A dog will never judge you, never be tired of seeing you, doesn't care if you don't fit in, etc. Mine has helped me through some tough times just by sitting there looking dumb and not saying a word.
The other thing I do when I'm sad is immerse myself in something I'm good at, find challenging, or both. Whether it's some woodworking in my shop, repairing my motorcycles, fixing up my house, etc. Just getting my mind busy and finding a creative outlet works wonders for me.
best of luck, sir, and as many have so rightly said already you should definitely seek out a professional to talk to. A therapist who will listen and challenge you to address whatever the underlying issues may be can be a really beneficial thing.
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