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Cut out the noise and listen to your gut. Clearly it's trying to signal alarm bells as you know this IS NOT right (would you have spoken to her that way?)
Quit trying to justify this in your head with all these excuses. The bottom line is, she's insecure - wants a certain guy to an idealistic view of what she wants next to her (once again, because she's insecure). And you holding on to this for dear life makes you sound insecure too. Half of this world is women, odds are in your favor you can find another one you like.
Another simple way to look at this, don't look at the nuances of each response, count up how many ppl are telling you NO vs YES.
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